When I first began my journey to save my marriage, I had no clue what I was doing. I had at first tried my own hand at it, but nothing I did seemed to make any difference. As far as I could tell, everything I did seemed to make things a 100 times worse. I couldn't win for losing so to speak. So, about this time, I started seeking advice from friends and family, but what did they know? None of them had ever been through a potential divorce, and most of them were single. The only things that seemed to work, I had to learn on my own. But in the process I learned a lot of what not to do that's for sure. It wasn't until I learned the steps to save my marriage that I knew any better, and I'd like to share it with you so you don't make the same mistakes and potentially ruin your chances to save your marriage.
#1. Begging and pleading with your spouse to stay together. You may have a natural inclination to do so, which is perfectly normal. But, the results of doing this makes it difficult for your spouse to desire you. It often pushes them away further.
#2. Arguing with your spouse. I'm sure you have plenty to say right now, I know you do. But, you can get your message across without getting into a heated argument that can often make things worse. It is a very sensitive time right now, and we don't want to make it worse by flying off the handle and saying things we'll regret later.
#3. Making promises to change. It's too late for that. The marriage has reached a breaking point and statements like this are a waste of breathe. Because more than likely, your spouse has heard it all before. Your promises to change aren't carrying much weight right now, so keep them to yourself and instead take steps to change or rather actions to change without talking about it. Just do it if you know it has been part of the problem, your actions will go much further than only promises.
#4. Trying to make your spouse feel guilty. This could be a number of things. Threatening to involve the kids or threatening to harm yourself. Anything that makes you look desperate will only make you look pathetic and less desirable. So don't do it.
#5. Stalking or harassing their every move. I know you want to be informed and involved, get to the bottom of what's going on, but you have to back off and give your spouse some space. That means, no phone calls at work or while their out about your marriage issues, no emails, texts, no following them to confront them or lay it all out. Give your spouse the space needed to think this through clearly without you being in their ear constantly.
There are many more, but these are the most critical and often misunderstood or overlooked. If you can learn now to avoid doing these things, while working on positive steps to save your marriage then you are way ahead of where I was. Even though I had done a number of these things, I still saved my marriage. But it took understanding these critical mistakes and how to fix what I had already done wrong to finally save it. The key was learning steps to save my marriage that actually worked and by someone who actually knew what they were talking about. So, what can you do next to save your marriage?
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All my best to you and your spouse
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?5-Things-You-Should-Never-Do-If-You-Want-To-Save-Your-Marriage&id=5173151] 5 Things You Should Never Do If You Want To Save Your Marriage