3 Proven Steps For You to Avoid Divorce - Begin Healing Your Marriage Now
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Addison_Prescot]Addison Prescot
Of all the help, tips and advice going around about how to avoid divorce the best recommendation of all is get outside help. This does not necessarily mean the dreaded "Marriage counselor" although, there are times when it may come to that. Finding out if your in need of such therapy first is always best. These three steps can really help you to avoid divorce if your heading in that direction.
1. Stop Feeling Hopeless Do not roam around feeling sorry for yourself in front of your spouse. This is a huge mistake that can actually expedite or speed up the process of a negative outcome. This can also help make the decision to divorce you a lot more firm and solid. Work on ways to improve your self image and be perceived as the one your spouse fell in love with in the first place.
2. Learn to Better Control Your Emotions When arguments begin is usually when you let it all hang out and are not even thinking but feeling. This is natural but the truth of the matter is, when things are getting hard PASSION IS THE ENEMY OF PRECISION. You will need to be objective in order to better handle situations as they arise. To save your marriage you must be in control of how you react. Many times people do things just to test out our reactions, this is wrong but people do it all the time.
Playing games is wrong and the outcome is serious loss each and every time we are dishonest with each other. Endeavor to be honest with yourself and if need be, in place of dishonesty just be silent. This is not going to be easy but this is no excuse to quit. Just do your very best not to get yourself all riled up. Remember what is at stake and if it is worth your marriage each and every time you start to argue.
3. Take ACTION and Follow through on it Find a comprehensive easy to understand and easy to apply system that allows for diversity. Not all couples problems are the same, however many problems are yet unique to the individuals. Finding a system that is adaptable to your needs is important in order for it to work. Focus on finding the right solution for your marriage. In many ways suggesting Marriage counseling just adds stigma to an already delicate situation. So find information that can be easily applied by you alone and which will end up helping the both of you.
Once things start getting better then you can take steps to avoid divorce together if it seems possible. Remember that if you try to make someone do something they do not want to do they will only create more distance. It is better to help them want to identify these steps to avoid divorce on their own. It is a delicate balance and a very thin line. You will have to find out this technique from others who are professionals and have years of research with statistical outcomes that they learn from. These people are here for your advantage and found very effective marriage solutions to avoiding divorce. Find out how effective the solutions they present can be and follow through with what they suggest, because it really works.
Find out how simple steps can help you [http://digitalresult.info/]To Avoid Divorce no matter how bad it might seem. Even if you are the only one trying, it can be turned around.
Learn 5 commonly told Marriage saving myths that could actually do more damage to your relationship.YOU CAN [http://digitalresult.info]Save Your Marriage today by learning what professionals found works best
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?3-Proven-Steps-For-You-to-Avoid-Divorce---Begin-Healing-Your-Marriage-Now&id=3337475] 3 Proven Steps For You to Avoid Divorce - Begin Healing Your Marriage Now
Monday
Getting Through The Acid Test Of Marriage
Marriage is a beautiful thing if you know how to handle and maintain a good outlook about it. It is a balance of give and take, which is why problems in the marriage occur if you or your partner sees it as a one way street. There are certain problems in the marriage that if both of you are able to survive it; your union will be able to stand any obstacle.
These are the acid test of the relationship, get through this and your togetherness will be stronger than ever. It’s because these acid test will make both of you closer than ever. The first acid test is money problems- insufficient funds. Surviving a bank account with negative balance in your relationship can be tough but it has a solution.
In handling financial acid test, you have to keep your temper on the sides and learn to focus on the problem at hand. It’s important that you sit down and discuss- what you own, what you don’t own, what you owe, what you need and what you don’t need. Work together instead of against each other.
Don’t let you money issues stem into other issues- learn to contain your setbacks in money. Another acid test that can make your bond stronger is children- related issues. Children are the source of happiness of every couple but it should not be the only reason that should keep both of you together.
Having children can bring a lot of stress in the marriage, especially for young and new couples. This is because parenting requires huge responsibility as well as changes of role in your life. This can also cause disagreement and can lessen your time as a couple. In order to get through this acid test of marriage, couples should need to work as a team.
They should learn to have organization- (yes, it’s possible), manage their time wisely and learn to have rules (learning how to say no). It’s also essential that you ask for reinforcements- parents, friends, trusted neighbors or hire a dependable baby sitter. Never compromise your “couple time” and your “self-time” and most importantly enjoy your children, this is one of the most stress-buster there is for parents.
Another acid test that can make your bond tighter if both of you survived the effects of infidelity. Unfortunately, infidelity sometimes does happened, it’s hurtful and can be devastating but it’s not the end of everything- a relationship can survive and get through infidelity, not only survive but could end up in a more sympathetic and loving atmosphere.
The first thing that you should do to survive this acid test is to know the root cause of the infidelity and work from there. Sometimes it can be a symptom of some major issues within your relationship or your partner. Surviving infidelity cannot happened over night but if both of you do get through it; you will discover a much deeper beauty and appreciation in your marriage.
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These are the acid test of the relationship, get through this and your togetherness will be stronger than ever. It’s because these acid test will make both of you closer than ever. The first acid test is money problems- insufficient funds. Surviving a bank account with negative balance in your relationship can be tough but it has a solution.
In handling financial acid test, you have to keep your temper on the sides and learn to focus on the problem at hand. It’s important that you sit down and discuss- what you own, what you don’t own, what you owe, what you need and what you don’t need. Work together instead of against each other.
Don’t let you money issues stem into other issues- learn to contain your setbacks in money. Another acid test that can make your bond stronger is children- related issues. Children are the source of happiness of every couple but it should not be the only reason that should keep both of you together.
Having children can bring a lot of stress in the marriage, especially for young and new couples. This is because parenting requires huge responsibility as well as changes of role in your life. This can also cause disagreement and can lessen your time as a couple. In order to get through this acid test of marriage, couples should need to work as a team.
They should learn to have organization- (yes, it’s possible), manage their time wisely and learn to have rules (learning how to say no). It’s also essential that you ask for reinforcements- parents, friends, trusted neighbors or hire a dependable baby sitter. Never compromise your “couple time” and your “self-time” and most importantly enjoy your children, this is one of the most stress-buster there is for parents.
Another acid test that can make your bond tighter if both of you survived the effects of infidelity. Unfortunately, infidelity sometimes does happened, it’s hurtful and can be devastating but it’s not the end of everything- a relationship can survive and get through infidelity, not only survive but could end up in a more sympathetic and loving atmosphere.
The first thing that you should do to survive this acid test is to know the root cause of the infidelity and work from there. Sometimes it can be a symptom of some major issues within your relationship or your partner. Surviving infidelity cannot happened over night but if both of you do get through it; you will discover a much deeper beauty and appreciation in your marriage.
www.articlecity
7 Secrets of Happy Couples
Why do some couples stay happy together for a lifetime, while others are in conflict almost from the beginning?
Part of the answer is compatibility - making the initial choice of a partner with whom you share common values. Equally much, however, depends upon the choices each partner chooses to make during the relationship. Here are seven choices made by happy couples:
1. Trust: Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship. If the other is going to cheat or otherwise dishonor the relationship, suspicion and jealousy will not prevent it, and such a relationship is fatally flawed in any case. Unwarranted suspicion and jealousy create misery in a surprising number of relationships. If you want to live happily, trust your partner completely. If they dishonor your trust, deal with the situation then. In the meanwhile, your will have been happy.
2. Open Communication: Tell the truth, tell the whole truth. If you didn't want to share your whole life with your partner, why are you together? If you make a mistake, admit it. If you have doubts, talk about them. Secrets and lies kill a relationship. With truth and openness anything is possible. Even if something is unforgivable, it is better to deal with it quickly.
3. Honoring the other's point-of-view: People disagree, couples disagree. Understanding that the two partners in a couple remain individuals is crucial to a happy relationship. Why would you expect that you and your partner should agree on everything? Honor that one of you is a Republican and the other a Democrat. Honor that one of you is a vegetarian and the other loves a great steak.
4. Self-Confidence: Co-dependence is another frequent cause of failed relationships. Happy couples know that they don't need each other. Each partner is a completely whole and valid individual who has entered into a voluntary partnership. Neither "owns" the other, nor "can't live without" the other. Each has their own interests and friends, as well as having mutual interests and friends.
5. Generosity: Greed and selfishness kill relationships. True love is generous in spirit. Mostly, generosity is not about material things, although that is also important. To have a happy relationship, be generous of your time, your love, and your attention.
6. Forgiveness: Resentments and thoughts of revenge and vengeance have no place in a happy relationship. Happy couples forgive each other completely for everything the other has ever done or failed to do - no exceptions.
7. Gratitude: Happy couples are continuously grateful for each other. Every day there are a myriad of reasons to be grateful for your partner. Find those reasons each day, and thank your partner every day.
Sign-Up for Jonathan's Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email, and read his article: 7 Secrets for a Happy Life.
Jonathan Lockwood Huie is an author of self-awareness books. He has been dubbed "The Philosopher of Happiness" by those closest to him, in recognition of his on-going commitment to seeing Joy in all of life.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
Part of the answer is compatibility - making the initial choice of a partner with whom you share common values. Equally much, however, depends upon the choices each partner chooses to make during the relationship. Here are seven choices made by happy couples:
1. Trust: Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship. If the other is going to cheat or otherwise dishonor the relationship, suspicion and jealousy will not prevent it, and such a relationship is fatally flawed in any case. Unwarranted suspicion and jealousy create misery in a surprising number of relationships. If you want to live happily, trust your partner completely. If they dishonor your trust, deal with the situation then. In the meanwhile, your will have been happy.
2. Open Communication: Tell the truth, tell the whole truth. If you didn't want to share your whole life with your partner, why are you together? If you make a mistake, admit it. If you have doubts, talk about them. Secrets and lies kill a relationship. With truth and openness anything is possible. Even if something is unforgivable, it is better to deal with it quickly.
3. Honoring the other's point-of-view: People disagree, couples disagree. Understanding that the two partners in a couple remain individuals is crucial to a happy relationship. Why would you expect that you and your partner should agree on everything? Honor that one of you is a Republican and the other a Democrat. Honor that one of you is a vegetarian and the other loves a great steak.
4. Self-Confidence: Co-dependence is another frequent cause of failed relationships. Happy couples know that they don't need each other. Each partner is a completely whole and valid individual who has entered into a voluntary partnership. Neither "owns" the other, nor "can't live without" the other. Each has their own interests and friends, as well as having mutual interests and friends.
5. Generosity: Greed and selfishness kill relationships. True love is generous in spirit. Mostly, generosity is not about material things, although that is also important. To have a happy relationship, be generous of your time, your love, and your attention.
6. Forgiveness: Resentments and thoughts of revenge and vengeance have no place in a happy relationship. Happy couples forgive each other completely for everything the other has ever done or failed to do - no exceptions.
7. Gratitude: Happy couples are continuously grateful for each other. Every day there are a myriad of reasons to be grateful for your partner. Find those reasons each day, and thank your partner every day.
Sign-Up for Jonathan's Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email, and read his article: 7 Secrets for a Happy Life.
Jonathan Lockwood Huie is an author of self-awareness books. He has been dubbed "The Philosopher of Happiness" by those closest to him, in recognition of his on-going commitment to seeing Joy in all of life.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com
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