5 Things You Should Never Do If You Want To Save Your Marriage

When I first began my journey to save my marriage, I had no clue what I was doing. I had at first tried my own hand at it, but nothing I did seemed to make any difference. As far as I could tell, everything I did seemed to make things a 100 times worse. I couldn't win for losing so to speak. So, about this time, I started seeking advice from friends and family, but what did they know? None of them had ever been through a potential divorce, and most of them were single. The only things that seemed to work, I had to learn on my own. But in the process I learned a lot of what not to do that's for sure. It wasn't until I learned the steps to save my marriage that I knew any better, and I'd like to share it with you so you don't make the same mistakes and potentially ruin your chances to save your marriage.

#1. Begging and pleading with your spouse to stay together. You may have a natural inclination to do so, which is perfectly normal. But, the results of doing this makes it difficult for your spouse to desire you. It often pushes them away further.

#2. Arguing with your spouse. I'm sure you have plenty to say right now, I know you do. But, you can get your message across without getting into a heated argument that can often make things worse. It is a very sensitive time right now, and we don't want to make it worse by flying off the handle and saying things we'll regret later.

#3. Making promises to change. It's too late for that. The marriage has reached a breaking point and statements like this are a waste of breathe. Because more than likely, your spouse has heard it all before. Your promises to change aren't carrying much weight right now, so keep them to yourself and instead take steps to change or rather actions to change without talking about it. Just do it if you know it has been part of the problem, your actions will go much further than only promises.

#4. Trying to make your spouse feel guilty. This could be a number of things. Threatening to involve the kids or threatening to harm yourself. Anything that makes you look desperate will only make you look pathetic and less desirable. So don't do it.

#5. Stalking or harassing their every move. I know you want to be informed and involved, get to the bottom of what's going on, but you have to back off and give your spouse some space. That means, no phone calls at work or while their out about your marriage issues, no emails, texts, no following them to confront them or lay it all out. Give your spouse the space needed to think this through clearly without you being in their ear constantly.

There are many more, but these are the most critical and often misunderstood or overlooked. If you can learn now to avoid doing these things, while working on positive steps to save your marriage then you are way ahead of where I was. Even though I had done a number of these things, I still saved my marriage. But it took understanding these critical mistakes and how to fix what I had already done wrong to finally save it. The key was learning steps to save my marriage that actually worked and by someone who actually knew what they were talking about. So, what can you do next to save your marriage?

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Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?5-Things-You-Should-Never-Do-If-You-Want-To-Save-Your-Marriage&id=5173151] 5 Things You Should Never Do If You Want To Save Your Marriage

Sexless Marriage Solutions and Advice For Men - Don't Lose Hope

One day you notice that the loving, passionate woman you vowed to love forever seems not to love you back. At the very least, she's not willing to sleep with you. You must be feeling confused, rejected, if not a little angry and scared.

You have every right to feel all those feelings. After all, sex is a part of married life. A crucial part and you deserve to be loved. But the best sexless marriage advice I can give you is not to lose your temper and lash out at your wife. Don't start casting blame or pressuring her into having sex with you. This isn't the way to heal your marriage, only to gratify some instant desire that you're feeling.

If you're looking for a real solution to your sexless marriage, you'd do well to take your time and to be patient. I know this is hard but it's the only way. This is a process and not something which is solved in one swift move.

Here is some advice:

1. You need to figure out if something has changed in your wife's life to cause her to lose her sex drive. It can be a recent pregnancy, menopause, some stress that has entered her life, or she can just be too tired with kids and chores.

2. You need to make your home environment as easy and stress free as possible. Helping more with chores is a good move. Helping to keep the house clean and the kids in control is another. Anything that can help your wife have more time to herself without obligations can do a world of good.

3. Think hard: did you say something or do something which may have caused your wife to be this way? Did you say something about how she looks, did you have a fight, does she suspect you of having an affair? Anything of this sort can drive her to reject your approaches.

The best thing you can do is be loving, try to spend more time with her, and be patient. You can get the passion back.

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Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Sexless-Marriage-Solutions-and-Advice-For-Men---Dont-Lose-Hope&id=3345022] Sexless Marriage Solutions and Advice For Men - Don't Lose Hope

Ten Tactics & Strategies to Help Save Your Marriage

Marriage is not easy because life is not easy. Once you begin a life together, problems will come up. There are certain things you will need to learn in order to save your marriage and improve your relationship. When we are emotional, we tend to let it get the best of us before we even realize it. Using certain strategies and tactics used in everyday life can help avoid some of our unhealthy emotional reactions

If your marriage is experiencing problems and divorce has come up, then chances are that its a cry for help from your spouse. It is a vital warning sign that saying; "If things do not get better then it is over". This is your chance to save your marriage and make things better. It is very important that you learn the right things to do here because the wrong move, could make things worse. It could speed up the process or finalize the decision of divorce.

It is obviously a critical time for your marriage and if you intend on staying married you will need to find the right information and apply it correctly. There is so much involved that it is not possible to cover everything, all at once right here, but there are some actions you can take to get things started. I will provide ten different strategies to help save your marriage and stop divorce from being inevitable. The things that you can do during the period of time when your spouse is considering divorce are best provided by professionals who are experts on this subject. Taking action on your own can actually cause more harm than good. So be extremely careful to find the right, the best information to save your marriage.

The guidelines to follow in an attempt to reverse your spouse from contemplating divorce are simple enough to learn, however, to apply them and put them into practice are a different story. It requires a certain amount of determination, devotion, and self discipline on your part but you absolutely can save your marriage if you utilize these requirements. This will not be easy, but will certainly be worth it in the end, once your marriage relationship is back on track and your life can begin improving overall.

The ten strategies to save your marriage & stop divorce are listed in order of what to do first, then following the sequence chronologically. In other words, try not to skip ahead or start in the middle as each one requires support of the previous step.

1. Give them space. Especially if there was recently a big blow-up. Yet even if there was not one, still let things go for at least 24hrs. if not longer. People need time to process what is happening to them. The more you agitate the situation the more desperate you appear and the more problems seem to be piling up on them. If it appears that there is just more of the same then the decision for divorce will be an easier more firm one to make.

If you allow them time to think things through they will ultimately reason out that divorce is a huge deal and final too. They will not rush this decision unless you apply more pressure. Even though your intentions are to convince them otherwise it will not come out that way during this time. It is a delicate balance of subtlety and silence. Quietness builds character and mystery. Once your spouse is through contemplating their thoughts will then turn to what they wonder you are thinking. IF you are constantly telling them what you think then they have no need to wonder about what your thinking.

2.Analyze and Identify with yourself. During this time of *SPACE* do some inventory of yourself and find out what it is that you can either improve on or discontinue doing that may have caused issue or problems previously. Identify the major issues that you believe you do that are responsible for causing the trouble. Once you have done an adequate amount of self reflection then 'quietly' ask yourself what your spouse does,(without blaming them)that bothers you. It is more important that you analyze yourself first & also more intensive than your spouse because blaming others is easy.Saving your marriage means saving yourself. Taking responsibility for yourself is the real challenge.

One thing I like to do is write down all my shortcomings, inadequacies, and faults. It makes it a lot easier to see and then I will list them in order of importance. Devise a way to catch yourself from continuing on in the same manner, so that you can improve on your faults. Then, ask yourself if this is something that your spouse is also guilty of, and if so will they be willing to admit to it. The important thing to remember here is this is more about you than your spouse. It should be focused on you so that you and your spouse can better relate and get along. Find the one most important thing that you believe bothers your spouse and focus all your work on resolving this particular issue. Make that change and make it clear that you have made that change.

3.Break the Silence, Softly. After all your reflection and self analyzing, gently ask your partner if you can explain something to them. Be as soft and sincere as you possibly can. The way in which you approach your spouse is very important to how you will be received. If you are still the same then they will not believe what it is you have to explain. Then ask them if they have thought more about it. Listen, to them intently and then begin explaining to them what you have just done. Consistently keeping eye contact until a certain point and then explain to them that this is about yourself and not them. Tell them you have thought a lot about everything and that you have come to the conclusion that you need to work on yourself.

Explain how you both owe it to your marriage to try your very best otherwise you may look back on your lives with regret. No one wants to think back to what might have been and in almost every case of divorce this ends up being the case. People always report wondering Did I do everything I could? Was there something I over looked? Explain this to them so that they understand how necessary it is to be thorough. Divorce is serious business and involves a whole lot of outside elements beyond your marriage.

4. Remind them of A Happier Time in Your Relationship. This is very important. Get them reflecting on positive things about the relationship and what it means to the both of you. This will help in reminding them of the reasons you both got married in the first place, you fell in love. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with this each other and you knew there would be some hard times. Through sickness and health good times and the bad. Tell them that this is also very difficult for you and that you are willing to do whatever it takes to make your marriage work. Explain to them that you want to know that you both did everything possible before getting a divorce so that you will not look back in regret like so many others do.

The next part is very difficult but very effective and before you think it is crazy check out the statistics.

5.Suggest Trial Separation. Do not just suggest this as a bluff, but be completely ready to do this. Actually mean it and be prepared to do it. At least for a given amount of time. Statistics indicate that marriages that go through with this, actually became stronger and did not divorce as opposed to those that stayed together. The married couples that tried to work things out and stayed together ended up in divorce court and never got back together. Those that went through a separation stayed married. This is the facts. Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder and you will both miss each other and reflect on what is really important, Your Marriage!

Be sure to indicate that this in no way, shape, or form suspends the oaths you have made to each other. You should both remain faithful in every way. Just because you are taking time apart does not mean you ARE apart. Set up guidelines and make sure everything is clear and then stick to it. The amount of time apart should be settled on between you both and should also be long enough, though not too long. This is why it is so important to get more explicitly detailed information from professionals who are expert on dealing with this kind of thing. It works and is extremely effective in maintaining a healthy, happy, marriage relationship between you are your loved one.

6.Getting Active. Start something new for yourself. Get motivated and get moving on something that you have been putting off or always wanted to do but just never had the time. The more you work on other parts of your life the more complete you will be. You must become the person you once were when you first got married and to do that is by just being you. Doing an activity that is productive and that has been in your mind will facilitate this process entirely. Plus the energy that surrounds you from your achievements will be positive and will reflect onto others in example your partner.

I cannot stress this enough. Sometimes marriage can become all consuming when there is trouble and this makes it impossible to view objectively. Passion is the enemy of precision and will deter you from seeing any solution that may present itself. By concentrating on something other than your marriage you can distance yourself from it and see things a lot more clearly. This will also build up your confidence in yourself as well as give you more energy by raising your natural serotonin levels. All this will make you more appealing, attractive, desirable as a person. So you will in no way be wasting your time. Your marriage is worth the work and consequently so are you!

7.Project a Positive Self Image. Even if you feel like you are dying on the inside, do not let it show.At least not to your spouse. The more you act happy, the better the chance you will end up happy. At first this will seem like a completely fake and stupid thing to do but it will help you in your marriage crises in ways you cannot see at the moment. Studies indicate that the more positive energy that you project outward the more positive energy tends to return back to you in relationships.

This is a lot like 'emotional hot potato,' or the 'domino effect'. An example: The fathers boss screams at him and in turn he goes home and yells at his wife. She(the mother) in turn scolds her son harshly for leaving out the milk and he then, the son torments his little sister who then smacks the dog for... You get the point. It can be just like that only in reverse. Positive images create positive attitudes. The more uplifting you can be the better off the situation can tumble upwards.

One important thing to keep in mind is to use common sense in applying this. If you are truly angry or upset over something do not repress it. This is just a suggestive guideline to save your marriage and not something solid or complete. There are times when it would be inappropriate for you to deny yourself of your true feelings. Not to mention unhealthy. The best thing for this is to have someone to talk to. Someone you can trust, & let out your frustrations and complaints to. It does not always need to be a therapist in order to be therapeutic. It can be your mother, father, friend or whoever. Just make it a point to identify with your feelings and not to bottle them up. Which can make things much worse.

8.Learn Some New Ways To Approach Your Concerns. Obviously the ways you address your problems are currently not working all that well. Find new creative ways that will work, like using *I* statements when your asking for changes. When your spouse does something that your not happy with address it right away before it builds up and gets out of hand. Think about it first and then with calm and collective premeditation help them understand the reason behind your requests in place of pointing a judgemental finger.Try them out on others,(that do not mean as much) first, before adding pressure to your already stressed marriage relationship.

9.Do Not Apologize Anymore. This one is another common sense suggestion. What I am talking about is when you make the one you love feel uncomfortable in front of others or something similar. Just say that next time you will definitely know better. If you get into the habit of constantly apologizing for things it can get annoying, plus subconsciously this makes for admittance to wrong doing. If you apologize you are making plain that you are at fault and that something is wrong. Never apologize, instead suggest a solution out loud and remark that it was unintentional.

10.Empower Yourself To Your Situation. Knowledge is the key to power. Get the best information you can find on helping you save your marriage.This advice is critical and must be from outside of your circle of friends. Just make sure it is up to date and from a dedicated professional.

Unfortunately, the best advice is not something you will find for free; otherwise it is not "THE BEST". The best advice works and it sells for exactly that reason. A professional or expert, went to school and was trained in what provides the best solutions possible to save your marriage. Otherwise, the information would not be worth selling. Chances are if the information is selling well, then the information also works well too.

The good thing here, is that it does not have to cost an arm and a leg and it will certainly be much cheaper and easier than divorce. Marriage help is best begun from the bottom up. Start with an e-book, to find out if your marriage needs the more intensive treatment and more expensive "Marriage Counseling". It will be worth it in the long run because your marriage situation will improve and you will learn more of what you can do about the marriage problems your having.

Saving your marriage is a learning process. This will come from finding out about what other marriages going through and what has worked for them.The right Information is the key to empowering yourself and giving you the confidence and reassurance that you are doing what is right.

There is so much more to learn for your specific marriage situation. Certain anecdotes that others apply may very well be all that you need to change things around and progress back into a happy marriage. Getting the marriage that you deserve is something you have to decide and want by taking action. Things will only continue to get more entangled the longer you put it off.

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How to Save Your Marriage by Acting Crazy

I have been told that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Well, when it comes to marriage many couples do the same things over and over again and wonder why their marriage is in a rut and they often seek help on how to save your marriage.

Now, it's easier said than done to make changes in your relationship, even if it will help you save your marriage. We are creatures of habit and although we are not old dogs, it's hard to teach us new tricks, right?

However, we are talking about saving your marriage today. What would you be willing to do to save your marriage? How much are you willing to sacrifice to save your marriage? In what ways are you willing to change to save your marriage and live in a happy and healthy relationship?

The key to a happy marriage is to have the relationship moving forward or getting better as time goes by. A picture of an unhealthy marriage is when things are staying the same or getting worse year after year.

So here are some tips (husbands and wives) for how to save your marriage by acting crazy

Husbands - how to save your marriage by acting crazy

Do something today that totally surprises, delights and catches your wife off guard. It needs to be something out of character. If you haven't purchased flowers in quite some time try getting some today.
Show up at your wife's job or at home if she works at home and take her out to lunch. Nothing fancy so there's no reason for her to say she doesn't have the time. If you have to take a day off to do so then make it happen.
Cook your wife's favorite meal and have it ready when she comes home or if she is already home have her stay out of the kitchen until you are done.
Make a day trip out to the mall with your sweetie pie and hold her hand as you stroll through the mall gazing at shoes and pocket books.
If you have children, give your wife at least one day a week off where you feed, clothe, entertain, discipline and care for your children. This will surprise and refresh your wife and help save your marriage from stress and frustration. Children are lovely but are also (fill in the blank).


Wives - how to save your marriage by acting crazy


Do something today that totally surprises, excites and catches your husband off guard. It also, needs to be something he is not use to seeing. Perhaps beat him home from work or if you work at home, have a nice hot bubble bath waiting for him when he comes home from work.
Maybe take him out to see a movie you know he wants to see but hasn't had the time to do so or wouldn't go see because you aren't a fan of action packed movies. Hold his hand during the movie and give him a real kiss or maybe make him share a twizzler with you (at the same time) and give him a passionate kiss when you get to the end.
Perhaps if he is a sports fan you can sit on his lap during the game or lay on his leg and endure the game with him. No deep conversations but just enjoy the time together.
Complete some of the projects around the house that your husband hasn't had the time or desire to do. It will totally surprise and delight him when he discovers on his own that the water is no longer dripping from the faucet or the hinges on the doors have been tightened. The key is to not tell him what you have fixed but let him stumble on it.

Your spouse may be suspicious and try to figure out if you fell and hit your head but don't worry about that. You want to save your marriage and doing things for your spouse that are out of character will show your love and affection and help save your marriage.

If these crazy ideas don't work for you come up with some others. Also, remember that going out of your way to make your marital experience all that it can be is an ongoing process. It doesn't have to be everyday but often enough to keep things fresh and exciting. If you don't make your spouse say 'wow I love you" or "you made my day" every so often, then you are not trying hard enough.

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Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Save-Your-Marriage-by-Acting-Crazy&id=4442439] How to Save Your Marriage by Acting Crazy

Advice For Troubled Marriages - Solutions on How to Solve Problems in Your Marriage

You might be one of many married couples who have tried the traditional marriage counseling route, and even read relationship books together in order to try and salvage your marriage. Either one is a good resource for finding problem solving strategies. However, sometimes the enormity of dealing with the problems in your marriage can seem stressful and cause even more challenges to surface. In reality, finding out how to solve problems in your marriage should not become the problem, of making a bad marriage work.

Solutions may not come easy, but no one wants to cause more problems and harbor bad feelings about something that is designed to help. It is impossible to effectively communicate to your spouse when you are angry. Hurt and frustration can lead to your saying things that you will later regret. Sometimes, this occurs too late, after too many things have occurred that builds a deeper wedge. The key is not to become hopeless, but know that there are ways on how to solve problems in your marriage that will bring positive results.

First, you and your spouse will want to identify the issues that are causing problems in your marriage. There are many things which attack couples and threaten their bond.

Some may include:    

* Infidelity which always leads to broken trust    
* Emotional neglect    
* Addictive behaviors    
* Emotional and/or physical abuse    
* Boredom    
* Poor communication    
* Lack of appreciation    
* Stubbornness

This list proves that the challenges that you and your spouse are great. But, keeping the faith in your commitment to one another will lead to answers on how to solve problems in your marriage. The list above, as well as other issues, is usually just symptoms of underlying problems.

Some things which occur are seemingly unrelated to the real issues. Things like dirty dishes, taking out the trash, keeping the toilet seat up, may actually be the result of one person feeling unappreciated. Some of the most serious symptoms may be an unwillingness to work together to solve money problems, or sharing intimacy.

Unfortunately, some couples were in romantic denial before they got married and never honestly dealt with some of the issues that are currently causing their marriage to suffer. The fine print in those wedding vows becomes blazing signs when the honeymoon is over and real-life takes center stage. Nobody is perfect, and coming to this realization soon will lead to ways on how to solve problems in your marriage.

Learn to accept your and your spouse's faults. Focusing on shortcomings only magnifies the little things and keeps the two of you from growing together.

It may seem as though there's little hope and future left in your marriage right now, but if you've read this far then you clearly have the right attitude to try.

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You'll see why most people get it totally wrong when trying to salvage their marriage, and why almost any situation (yes, even affairs) can be overcome using a step by step approach that most "relationship experts" and free advice will never tell you...

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Advice-For-Troubled-Marriages---Solutions-on-How-to-Solve-Problems-in-Your-Marriage&id=2105936] Advice For Troubled Marriages - Solutions on How to Solve Problems in Your Marriage

3 Proven Steps For You to Avoid Divorce - Begin Healing Your Marriage Now

3 Proven Steps For You to Avoid Divorce - Begin Healing Your Marriage Now
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Addison_Prescot]Addison Prescot

Of all the help, tips and advice going around about how to avoid divorce the best recommendation of all is get outside help. This does not necessarily mean the dreaded "Marriage counselor" although, there are times when it may come to that. Finding out if your in need of such therapy first is always best. These three steps can really help you to avoid divorce if your heading in that direction.

1. Stop Feeling Hopeless Do not roam around feeling sorry for yourself in front of your spouse. This is a huge mistake that can actually expedite or speed up the process of a negative outcome. This can also help make the decision to divorce you a lot more firm and solid. Work on ways to improve your self image and be perceived as the one your spouse fell in love with in the first place.

2. Learn to Better Control Your Emotions When arguments begin is usually when you let it all hang out and are not even thinking but feeling. This is natural but the truth of the matter is, when things are getting hard PASSION IS THE ENEMY OF PRECISION. You will need to be objective in order to better handle situations as they arise. To save your marriage you must be in control of how you react. Many times people do things just to test out our reactions, this is wrong but people do it all the time.

Playing games is wrong and the outcome is serious loss each and every time we are dishonest with each other. Endeavor to be honest with yourself and if need be, in place of dishonesty just be silent. This is not going to be easy but this is no excuse to quit. Just do your very best not to get yourself all riled up. Remember what is at stake and if it is worth your marriage each and every time you start to argue.

3. Take ACTION and Follow through on it Find a comprehensive easy to understand and easy to apply system that allows for diversity. Not all couples problems are the same, however many problems are yet unique to the individuals. Finding a system that is adaptable to your needs is important in order for it to work. Focus on finding the right solution for your marriage. In many ways suggesting Marriage counseling just adds stigma to an already delicate situation. So find information that can be easily applied by you alone and which will end up helping the both of you.

Once things start getting better then you can take steps to avoid divorce together if it seems possible. Remember that if you try to make someone do something they do not want to do they will only create more distance. It is better to help them want to identify these steps to avoid divorce on their own. It is a delicate balance and a very thin line. You will have to find out this technique from others who are professionals and have years of research with statistical outcomes that they learn from. These people are here for your advantage and found very effective marriage solutions to avoiding divorce. Find out how effective the solutions they present can be and follow through with what they suggest, because it really works.

Find out how simple steps can help you [http://digitalresult.info/]To Avoid Divorce no matter how bad it might seem. Even if you are the only one trying, it can be turned around.

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Getting Through The Acid Test Of Marriage

Marriage is a beautiful thing if you know how to handle and maintain a good outlook about it. It is a balance of give and take, which is why problems in the marriage occur if you or your partner sees it as a one way street. There are certain problems in the marriage that if both of you are able to survive it; your union will be able to stand any obstacle.

These are the acid test of the relationship, get through this and your togetherness will be stronger than ever. It’s because these acid test will make both of you closer than ever. The first acid test is money problems- insufficient funds. Surviving a bank account with negative balance in your relationship can be tough but it has a solution.

In handling financial acid test, you have to keep your temper on the sides and learn to focus on the problem at hand. It’s important that you sit down and discuss- what you own, what you don’t own, what you owe, what you need and what you don’t need. Work together instead of against each other.

Don’t let you money issues stem into other issues- learn to contain your setbacks in money. Another acid test that can make your bond stronger is children- related issues. Children are the source of happiness of every couple but it should not be the only reason that should keep both of you together.

Having children can bring a lot of stress in the marriage, especially for young and new couples. This is because parenting requires huge responsibility as well as changes of role in your life. This can also cause disagreement and can lessen your time as a couple. In order to get through this acid test of marriage, couples should need to work as a team.

They should learn to have organization- (yes, it’s possible), manage their time wisely and learn to have rules (learning how to say no). It’s also essential that you ask for reinforcements- parents, friends, trusted neighbors or hire a dependable baby sitter. Never compromise your “couple time” and your “self-time” and most importantly enjoy your children, this is one of the most stress-buster there is for parents.

Another acid test that can make your bond tighter if both of you survived the effects of infidelity. Unfortunately, infidelity sometimes does happened, it’s hurtful and can be devastating but it’s not the end of everything- a relationship can survive and get through infidelity, not only survive but could end up in a more sympathetic and loving atmosphere.

The first thing that you should do to survive this acid test is to know the root cause of the infidelity and work from there. Sometimes it can be a symptom of some major issues within your relationship or your partner. Surviving infidelity cannot happened over night but if both of you do get through it; you will discover a much deeper beauty and appreciation in your marriage.

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7 Secrets of Happy Couples

Why do some couples stay happy together for a lifetime, while others are in conflict almost from the beginning?

Part of the answer is compatibility - making the initial choice of a partner with whom you share common values. Equally much, however, depends upon the choices each partner chooses to make during the relationship. Here are seven choices made by happy couples:

1. Trust: Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship. If the other is going to cheat or otherwise dishonor the relationship, suspicion and jealousy will not prevent it, and such a relationship is fatally flawed in any case. Unwarranted suspicion and jealousy create misery in a surprising number of relationships. If you want to live happily, trust your partner completely. If they dishonor your trust, deal with the situation then. In the meanwhile, your will have been happy.

2. Open Communication: Tell the truth, tell the whole truth. If you didn't want to share your whole life with your partner, why are you together? If you make a mistake, admit it. If you have doubts, talk about them. Secrets and lies kill a relationship. With truth and openness anything is possible. Even if something is unforgivable, it is better to deal with it quickly.

3. Honoring the other's point-of-view: People disagree, couples disagree. Understanding that the two partners in a couple remain individuals is crucial to a happy relationship. Why would you expect that you and your partner should agree on everything? Honor that one of you is a Republican and the other a Democrat. Honor that one of you is a vegetarian and the other loves a great steak.

4. Self-Confidence: Co-dependence is another frequent cause of failed relationships. Happy couples know that they don't need each other. Each partner is a completely whole and valid individual who has entered into a voluntary partnership. Neither "owns" the other, nor "can't live without" the other. Each has their own interests and friends, as well as having mutual interests and friends.

5. Generosity: Greed and selfishness kill relationships. True love is generous in spirit. Mostly, generosity is not about material things, although that is also important. To have a happy relationship, be generous of your time, your love, and your attention.

6. Forgiveness: Resentments and thoughts of revenge and vengeance have no place in a happy relationship. Happy couples forgive each other completely for everything the other has ever done or failed to do - no exceptions.

7. Gratitude: Happy couples are continuously grateful for each other. Every day there are a myriad of reasons to be grateful for your partner. Find those reasons each day, and thank your partner every day.
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Jonathan Lockwood Huie is an author of self-awareness books. He has been dubbed "The Philosopher of Happiness" by those closest to him, in recognition of his on-going commitment to seeing Joy in all of life.


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